On this blog, I often share what God has been teaching me. I never want to share anything that I haven’t walked through or can’t speak to firsthand. If you read my last blog, you will remember that God has been teaching me that he can be trusted with my kids, even when they struggle.
While I know God can be trusted with my kids, in my humanness, I find it so easy to keep picking up the reins. Motherhood is all about being hands-on. Ever since our kids were born and placed in our arms, our touch and our presence has constantly been with them.
But when your kids get older, a new struggle develops. Your grip on your kids has to loosen. Step one for me was preschool. Maybe for some of you, it was daycare. We eventually have to place our kids into someone else’s hands. Our perceived control level drops.
When your kids go to school full-time, the amount of control drops even more. There’s no way of knowing what really goes on with your kids while they’re away from you. Did they eat lunch? Did they make friends? Did they do well on their spelling test?
Motherhood is all about raising our kids to be independent. It’s really heart-breaking, if you stop and think about it. A job well done means your kids will eventually leave you and live on their own. That’s the goal, for sure, but along the way it’s one little heartbreak after another. Preschool. Elementary School. Middle School. High School. Driving. Dating. College. Sob…sob…sob.
Even though we feel like we lose control of our kids, their is one who never loses control. Even as God controls creation, our crazy world, and the trajectory of our own adult lives, God is in control of our kids’ lives.
When we put our faith in Jesus as our Savior, we begin a journey of faith. When we have kids, we just add a new tool God uses to grow our faith. As we raise our kids, we have daily opportunities to grow our faith in God. We can fight him for control of our kids, hanging on to them for dear life. Or, we can open up our hands in faith.
The Bible says, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1, NIV). How often do we only apply this verse to our own lives, and skip over how this verse applies to our kids?
Growing in faith is actively letting go of our “control” and letting God work things out. It is placing our confidence in God that he will protect our kids. That he will guide our kids. That he will comfort our kids. Ultimately, it’s being absolutely assured that God really does have a plan for our kids (Jer. 29:11, Eph. 2:10).
Unfortunately, for us moms, sometimes God’s plans for our kids means they will face discomfort and pain. Faith means we do our part, for sure; we help them when we can. But we cannot overstep our role. We are not their “controller.” We are their guide, always pointing them to the One who is in ultimate control.