I know I promised more about finding rest, and I will get there. Sometimes, God interrupts our plans with another idea.
I couldn’t fall asleep last night because I was consumed with worries and “what ifs.” Does that ever happen to you? I have been working hard, doing what I can, in order to pursue this writing ministry that God place before me. And frankly, lately it has felt a lot like striving and less like joy. I finally fell asleep, acknowledging God’s control and my total lack there of.
Now, it gets good. God wove something so magical together throughout the past week. And, as Psalm 105:1-2 states, “Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim His greatness. Let the whole world know what He has done. Sing to Him; yes sing His praises. Tell everyone about His wonderful deeds.” That’s what I intend to do, and it is my intention with everything that I write.
A couple of days ago, my kids and I were delivering supper to our farmers in the field. One fun thing about being in the car at 6:30 is that we get to listen to Adventures in Odyssey. The theme of this day’s lesson was faith. I can’t remember the details of the story, but one character said to another, “Jesus said, ‘I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard see, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.'” (From Matt. 17:20).
My kids thought this sounded hilarious. They laughed and wondered, “How could that ever happen? A mountain get ripped up out of the ground and tossed to the side?” They giggled, but it gave me an opportunity to step in and explain.
I told them that if we have even a small amount of faith, nothing will be impossible for us because nothing is impossible with Jesus. I told them it’s not about moving mountains, but about praying impossible prayers and believing, through faith, that God will answer.
Sometimes, lessons for children are more for us…
Last night. I seemingly had forgotten all I had told my kids. I was defeated, feeling like God would never get around to answering my prayers. You see, I have a mountain in front of me, a seemingly impossible obstacle to me publishing a book. In the publishing world, they call it a “platform.” Basically, you need a “tribe” or a large following before you ever try to publish a book. I’ve actually been told a specific number I need to hit. Let’s just say I’m not close. It is a mountain. My number is a mustard seed.
It’s not like a don’t believe God can increase my numbers; I know He can. Again, I find myself struggling with His timing. I’ve been working, doing the things others who’ve had success in publishing recommend to me. Not much seems to be clicking for me; I’m not gaining much traction.
But last night, God gave me peace as I poured out my concerns before Him, once again. I know I’m serving Him where I’m at. He has blessed me with eyes to see it. Before I fell asleep, I grasped tightly at this peace, praying my doubts would not overshadow it again.
At about 12 today, I received a text. It was a lengthy text from one of my faith mentors. A small excerpt of the text popped up on my phone: “I felt the Lord calling me to encourage you…”
Tears immediately sprang to my eyes. God amazes me! This friend encouraged me by speaking truth and cheering me on in the ways I’ve been serving. She is the one who pointed me to Psalm 105, specifically verse 4.
“Search for the Lord and for His strength; continually seek Him.”
It was the exact bit of encouragement I needed in that moment! She even said to me, “You are a strong woman of faith!”
Isn’t our God so good! He doesn’t leave us feeling defeated. He uses those moments to teach us, like through my Adventures in Odyssey lesson. He uses His church to build us up, speak truth to us when we can’t see it and to call out the work of God in us.
God moves, even if His timing is mysterious.
God moves, even if the answer is not yet.
God moves, even if it is just to remind us of His love.
God is on the move, building faith in each one of us, especially me this year. And why am I surprised? It is, after all, my word of the year.